I can talk like a dolphin, I can talk like a dolphin

So, as one would expect, The Daily Show had some excellent moments during the week of the convention. One of the best mo's was when whackjob Theresa was pandering in Spanish, French and "Portugues", John Stewart breaks in with dolphin noises to speak with our Delphinidae friends. (Incidentally, Maureen Dowd did a fantastic column on don't call me Thereesa, it's Theraysa on the 19th, delightfully titled Out of Africa. It's archived on the NY Times site, but i was able to find a version here. As I'm quite tired and rambling, this, of course, reminds me of the recent Onion story about Kerry. "KERRY MAKES WHISTLE-STOP TOUR FROM DECK OF YACHT — Democratic frontrunner Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) began a seven-day, eight-state whistle-stop tour Monday, addressing a group of Frigidaire factory workers from the all-teak deck of his 60-foot luxury motor cruiser. ‘George W. Bush put tax cuts for the wealthy and special favors for the special interests before our economic future,’ Kerry told the crowd gathered below the starboard side of The Real Deal II." Sadly, the Onion has moved the article into its premium (i.e., pay) content, but at least for right nowthere is a cached version available.

As for the convention itself, while i chose to absent myself, i hear that they gave away 35,000 tickets for 17,000 seats, stairwells were literally crammed with people who couldn't get onto any floor, because security wouldn't let them. if you left your seat for food (because we couldn't possibly allow a threatening object like a pretzel onto the floor of the Fleet Center), there was a good chance you lost it. Typical of our affairs. The '02 state convention was a worse disaster, although certainly less inconvenient for the people of that fair city of the seven hills, by which i mean...worcester. (one of my favorite things about america is our gumption. for the rest of the universe, the city of seven hills? rome. for us, it's wistah. city of lights, you say? paris? nay, nay, silly fool, it's lowell. everyone knows that.)

Anyway, the best characterization of the two parties I have come across is from Dave Barry. "The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat tire, but would somehow set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club."