O Captain, I'm Captain

O Captain, I'm Captain. At least according to the goofy pirate quiz at TLAPD. Never mind that it makes me out to be a man and a self-involved one at that -- qualities that redundant anyway.

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate? brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

A name generator gave me the name Pirate Blair the Staggering Drunk which would have applied perhaps 10 years ago in my tender years but now more aptly applies to Wonkette. Instead, I'll go with Iron Mary Read from fidius.org, but you may call me Iron Read.